Things I didn't know were different until I saw them next to each other

You know how sometimes when you don’t pay enough attention, two similar but not identical things will occupy the same space in your brain? And you’ll go along thinking they’re the same until you’re 30 years old and see them in the same sentence and suddenly realize they’re not the same at all?

Maybe you’ve never had this problem. I might not be playing with a full deck.

Anyway, here’s a list of all the things I’ve been surprised to find out are different. Most of them are highly embarrassing and/or would preclude me from ever running for office.

^{Critics say almost everything in this blog post is incorrect. On principle, I’m remaining neutral.}

Addison Rae and Tate McRae

I still could not name a song by either of these people. They’re both from Canada, right? Are they siblings?

AJR and Twenty One Pilots

Music for people who like skim milk.

Ben Stiller and Ben Affleck

About 10 minutes into Good Will Hunting, which I finally watched in 2025 A.D., I was like, “Huh, that doesn’t look like the guy from Night at the Museum.”

Call of Duty and Battlefield

I haven’t played either of these, as far as I know. It’s impossible to be sure.

Dates and prunes

They’re both shaped like what you think of when you hear the word “pod” and they slow down your teeth when you bite into them. You get it.

Debutante, dilettante, and delinquent

Better to just avoid these words altogether.

Drew Barrymore and Reese Witherspoon

They both exist, but only one of them is married to Ryan Reynolds? How is that fair?

James Franco and Dave Franco

I bet you didn’t know there were two Francos, either. This is normal. I’m normal.

Jeff Bridges and Jeff Daniels

I thought The Big Lebowski was pretty good. Please tell me one of these men was in Big Lebowski.

Lightning cables and Thunderbolt cables

If you try to explain the difference I will get a restraining order.

Margaret Thatcher and Margaret Atwood

The UK isn’t that big. I can keep track of one Margaret, tops.

Mariah Carey and Carrie Underwood

Music for people who like belt buckles that look like hubcaps.

Medusa and Ursula

These ones aren’t even real. You can’t be mad at me for not knowing every Disney character.

Outer Wilds and Outer Worlds

I have played both of these. There’s one of them where I’m allowed to say I didn’t love it, and one where I have to keep my mouth shut.

Pecans and walnuts

They’re wrinkly nuts that you don’t eat very often. We should split the difference and call them both “peanuts.”

Samosa and mimosa

French restaurants are hard for me, okay?

Shallots, scallops, and scallions

Out of everything on the list, this is the mix-up most likely to ruin whatever you’re cooking. I mean, shallots and scallions are probably okay to swap. Scallops would be a disaster, though. It’s like the Monty Hall problem.

Sherbet and sorbet

Snow cones masquerading as ice cream. Despicable.

Troy Baker and Troye Sivan

You have to admit there’s an “evil twin” vibe here.